A Mom’s Fantasy vs. A Mom’s Reality

A Mom’s Fantasy vs. A Mom’s Reality

As a mother, you have expectations. Expectations of what your child will experience, understand, love and hate growing up. As moms, we set the bar high, and have a tendency to have unrealistic expectations of our children. We tend to forget they are kids, not miniature adults. It’s the simple things in life that bring smiles to their faces. A balloon. A chocolate ice cream cone. A kitchen dance party. Don’t get me wrong; I still take mine to the science center. I just try to accept the fact that the first thing they’ll talk about when they get in the car is who got to press the elevator button. A taste of fantasy vs. reality from a mom’s perspective. Trip to the Museum Mom’s Fantasy: We are going to meander through the museum, look at the dinosaurs, and tour the butterfly exhibit. Reality: The kids sprint through the exhibits, tell you it’s boring, but pop a squat for over 20 minutes at the T-Rex exhibit because they like the fake blood. Lunch consists of overpriced hot dogs and chips. Trip to the Beach Mom’s Fantasy: We’ll take a relaxing walk down by the beach, look for shells and watch the sunset. Reality: Your son picks up a condom, your daughter steps on a large stick and now they are both ridiculously hangry, so you leave before sunset. Movie Theater Mom’s Fantasy: We’ll eat popcorn and enjoy watching the movie together as a family. Reality: You are up no fewer than 5 times taking a child to the bathroom, running for more food or drink, and looking for their shoes, which they...
8 Things I Never Understood About My Mother — Until Now

8 Things I Never Understood About My Mother — Until Now

When it comes to motherhood, it’s hard to say who shapes who more — the mother or the child. And even though moms parent with varying moments of warmth, understanding, rigidity, and spontaneity, devotion remains at the heart of each and every one. But mom’s unconditional love doesn’t mean her methods are always easily understood. My mom was an amazing woman full of love and gentle guidance, but there were plenty of times I didn’t grasp her reasoning. It wasn’t clear to me why she’d lead me to independence only to keep me on what sometimes felt like a short leash, or why she trusted me, but not necessarily those around me. Before I was a mother, I didn’t understand that to her I was everything — her only child; the greatest love of her life. If I had to round up the biggest quandaries that defined my development, these eight momisms perhaps say them best: 1. “Friendships in threes are hard.” Growing up next door to two besties, there wasn’t a week that went by when two of us weren’t on the outs with the third (and we each took turns being the third). My mom used to always say, “Friendships in threes are hard,” and she was right, although that’s not to say our friendship wasn’t worth the sometimes struggle. Just ask Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe. 2. “Piano lessons are a privilege.” From the ages of 4-12 I was, ahem, “privileged” to take approximately 416 piano lessons. And even though I made a solemn promise to myself that I would never, ever, under any circumstance insist the same of...
8 Things I Wish I’d Known About Having Baby No. 2

8 Things I Wish I’d Known About Having Baby No. 2

Call it false confidence. Call it sleep deprivation. Whatever you call it, many of us go into birthing baby #2 thinking we know exactly what we’re doing. We already did it once — what’s adding another baby to the mix? Oh, how naïve we can be. Just because we’ve already had a baby doesn’t mean we have any idea what having two kids will be like. Just ask Prince William. After the birth of baby Charlotte, Prince William sounded a bit shell-shocked when he said, “Princess Charlotte doesn’t sleep and George never stops moving.” Ah, there’s the rub! Parents of one baby are used to one baby. We may even have everything under control with one baby. But introducing that second baby into our family changes things up in a big way that can be totally unexpected. Here are some things I wish I’d known about having baby #2. 1. Not All Pregnancies Are Alike Just because you survived your first pregnancy on saltines and Ben and Jerry’s doesn’t mean your second pregnancy will go the same way. You may have morning sickness with one and not the other. Also, the fatigue associated with pregnancy may be exacerbated by already having a child to care for. I was able to rest and take naps during my first pregnancy, carefully feeding myself to ease my morning sickness. During my second pregnancy, I had a 2-year-old to care for. Mommy didn’t get to take naps and my morning ritual of throwing up in the bathroom took place with my little son at my side. 2. Not All Births Are Alike Just as pregnancies can vary, so can the actual labor and delivery....
10 Things NOT to Do When You’re Pregnant

10 Things NOT to Do When You’re Pregnant

I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve pinned approximately 87 posts that have to do with the “X number of things you should do when you’re pregnant.” I’ve read all 87 of them, but probably taken a fraction of the advice. I didn’t take weekly pictures. I haven’t [and most likely won’t] make frozen meals ahead of time. We aren’t taking a “babymoon.” I won’t write a birth plan. I didn’t stick to a pregnancy workout regimen. I’ve basically stuck to taking prenatal vitamins and avoiding alcohol and sushi. Anyway, the “things to do when you’re pregnant” posts are quite popular, so I decided we need a list of things NOT to do when you’re pregnant. 1. When you’re at the “large and in charge” stage of pregnancy, experiencing a terrible breakout and pure exhaustion, do not – under any circumstances – look through old Facebook pictures and risk seeing photos of yourself looking pretty and NOT pregnant. This will lead to bad, bad things. 2. Try on clothes at a store unless they are MATERNITY CLOTHES. I made this mistake by trying on non-maternity leggings at Old Navy at 31 weeks pregnant and ended up eating my feelings in the form of Baskin-Robbins ice cream. FROM THE DRIVE THRU. 3. Watch or read anything having to do with birth stories, birth photos, pets, or soldiers coming home when you’re in public. You will weep openly and make a fool of yourself. 4. Assume that your fitness level is still the same as it was pre-pregnancy. This will result in needing to change your underwear, possibly passing out halfway...
6 Ridiculous Things I’ve Said to My Toddler So Far This Week

6 Ridiculous Things I’ve Said to My Toddler So Far This Week

There is so so much talking involved in parenting toddlers. It’s a constant barrage of bargaining my toddlers down from only wanting to watch TV, eat candy and never, ever getting dressed. Sitting in the stroller? Forget it. What words must be used to get a toddler in a stroller? Nobody knows. Crazy things come out of my mouth in these instances, like: 1. “We’re out of juice but I’ll spot you some Pedialyte.” My toddlers and I are in a constant juice battle these days. I wish they didn’t even know what juice was because now it’s the only thing they want. If I say no, they remind me that there’s juice in the fridge. Finally, I stopped buying juice thinking I could curb the begging. Wrong, wrong, wrong. 2. “I’m sorry, that’s the best telescope I’m able to make out of cabbage.” You know how it goes. It starts off adorably with your toddler playing make-believe with their food. You think they’re a genius and you start to play along. Before you know it, you’re crafting a steering wheel out of butternut squash — and you’re doing it all wrong, according to a three foot person. 3. “Your foot does not itch!” Did I really say that? Of course I can’t read my little girl’s mind and know whether or not her foot truly itches. But I’ll be darned, her foot only itches when it’s nap time. And I’m tired of scratching her foot. I’ve massaged it, scratched it with a hair brush, patted it, kissed it — absolutely everything I can think of. Her doctor says...