7 Moms You’ll See In A Group Text

7 Moms You’ll See In A Group Text

If you have kids in the modern age of parenting, chances are, you’ve participated in at least one group text. Whether it’s coordinating a playdate, a ladies’ night out, or organizing a complicated carpool routine, moms texting takes on a whole new level of hell when you have multiple people expressing opinions. And, often, the group text can make you feel like a prisoner in your own phone. I’ve been in a group text with six of my neighbors for over a year and there are times when I come back to my phone only to find 92 new texts. It can take almost 20 minutes to catch up on all of the conversation twists. Group texts are exhausting. And, what’s worse, now most messaging systems will indicate you’ve left the conversation, thereby alerting the other texters that you, in fact, don’t have time for their craziness. Group texts on your phone are what “Reply All” is to email: a special kind of hell designed to make us crazy. Technology is great, mostly, but the group text is enough to drive a busy mom crazy. If you’ve hung around group texts long enough, you will start to see certain patterns, certain nuances of the participants. Never is that more true than in a group text run by moms arranging carpool. Believe me, I know. Because one point or another, I’ve played all these roles. Let’s examine them, shall we? 1. The Initiator Mom She’s the mom we all love because she’s the one who dutifully remembers that on Wednesdays at 4 p.m., the kids all have to be at soccer practice....
Teachers Share The Most Ridiculous Things Parents Have Ever Said to Them

Teachers Share The Most Ridiculous Things Parents Have Ever Said to Them

Teachers share threats, insane requests, and absurd accusations from parents As summer winds down teachers are preparing their classrooms while parents are practicing their happy dance. A Reddit user challenged teachers to share the most ridiculous thing they’ve heard a parent say and more than 4,000 comments came in. Between crafting engaging lesson plans, endless grading, and breaking up fights teachers have a special kind of endurance. Too bad these parents failed to realize that and instead shared these absurd criticisms and requests. On Tests “This girl didn’t study and skipped most of the questions on a test. Mom came in to argue about her daughter’s failing grade and said she should only be graded on the questions she did answer, so therefore should have scored a 100 since the few she chose to answer were correct.” “I had a parent tell me his kid was acting dumb for my benefit and that he is really smart at home.” “My [teacher] mom frequently is forced to let kids retake tests because they didn’t do well on them. Not because the kids have any sort of problem, but because the parents complain that their genius somehow got a failing grade on a test.” On Homework “It’s not your job to teach my son lessons.” “Intellectual property is a real gray area,” one parent said in regard to blatant plagiarism. “‘Caitlyn doesn’t feel like writing. She’ll just say the answers to the work out-loud from now on.’” “My child has anxiety and as such, will not be completing your final project. You will give her an A for the course regardless...
I Don’t Know What Happened to My Brain After Having Kids

I Don’t Know What Happened to My Brain After Having Kids

I’d like to tell you that I am stronger, smarter, and more savvy after bringing four humans into the world. I’d like to tell you that having kids has done nothing but motivate me to be better, inspire me to reach for the stars, and finally teach me the secrets of being a woman who “has it all.” I’d like to tell you that becoming a mother has simply strengthened my organizational skills, propelling me to become a master scheduler and Queen of the Calendar. But honestly? That would be a lie. Because the truth is, somewhere between peeing on a stick and throwing up in those first few months of having my first kid, I lost my mind. It wasn’t a subtle change, really, when I look back on it. It was dramatic and swift, like a car stopping for a squirrel, tires locking and rubber burning. If I had to trace it back to one moment, I would say that it all started a few months into my first pregnancy, when my husband and I were shopping for some supplies for a tropical getaway. I was simply trying to pick up a bottle of sunscreen, but for some reason, bottles were flying left and right. No matter how hard I tried, I kept dropping every bottle of sunscreen I picked up. It was so ridiculous that my husband just stood there laughing at me, until I finally gave up and moved on to the sunglasses section — where I proceeded to knock over the entire display. I look back at that moment, the confusion I felt wondering what on...
Hey, Moms: Don’t Be Afraid to Date Yourself

Hey, Moms: Don’t Be Afraid to Date Yourself

It wasn’t until my kids were a bit older that I realized I needed to start dating myself again. And I’m not talking about waiting until they were (finally) asleep to delve into that delicious book sitting on my nightstand for months. No, I’m talking about actually doing something where my mind and spirit could get totally lost — something that I’d long forgotten about since having kids. For me, I couldn’t experience this unless I left the house, and sometimes, that meant leaving the house alone. Because let’s face it, sneaking in precious moments of “me time” for yourself is always great, but it just isn’t the same as long as you’re home. You’re looking at that pile of dirty dishes that’s still in the sink; you’re thinking you should really clean that coat closet, or be planning meals for the week. Make no mistake: It’s a challenge to care for our families and put ourselves first every once in a while, especially if you are a mom who works. It’s all too easy to forget that we count, too. But I can tell you this: As soon as I started taking time away for myself, it gave me the clarity I needed. The added bonus? I also became a happier version of myself. Here were some ground rules I set for myself that I think every mom should, too. 1. Even if you only get out once every few months, DO. IT. Everyone needs a little escape from their lives, and parents are no exception. I used to feel like this was a sign of weakness when in fact, it makes you stronger. 2. Let the guilt go. I know it...
Embarrassing Moments Are A Parenting Inevitability

Embarrassing Moments Are A Parenting Inevitability

When my middle daughter was 1, she had a spectacular diaper blowout at church. It was all up the back of her very new, very cute, church dress. I took her to the restroom, and once I was elbow-deep into cleaning her, I realized I was short on wipes. I ended up using wet toilet paper, which I assure you was quite a challenge to acquire while the kid was half dressed and filthy. It was working though, for the most part, until the power went out. And let me just say that the men’s room with no windows was about as dark as deep space, and my half-naked baby who was still equal parts poopy and wet was as slippery as a butter-coated seal. By the time the lights came back on, we were both a mess, and I ended up taking a walk of parenting shame through the church and out into the van. I was completely embarrassed. But that was far from the only time that I’ve been embarrassed as a parent. Sadly, there’s more. I was at the grocery store once, with a toddler in the cart reaching for anything and everything and two young kids in tow, both begging for candy in the checkout line. I had a full cart of food, and a line of people behind me as I began unloading the cart onto the checkout counter. Once everything was rung up and ready to roll, I realized I’d forgotten my debit card. Suddenly my face was red, my groceries were slowly melting, and it felt like everyone behind me let out a...